They say that patience is a virtue but chances are “they” weren’t waiting endlessly for a proposal that was never coming. Being in love is great, isn’t it? It’s wonderful when you find a man who fits into your life perfectly. You two view the world the same way, you have the same life goals and you are dating exclusively. Life couldn’t get much better than that, could it? Well, the answer is that it actually would be so much better if you had an engagement ring on your hand and a promise for a future of committed love and fidelity. If you’ve been dating for years without a proposal, you’re probably wondering when you need to pull the plug on the relationship and give up. It’s natural to question that. The answer just isn’t as straightforward as you may think it is.
When a woman has been dating the same man for years and years and they’re still considered just boyfriend and girlfriend, that’s a problem only if one of them views it as such. Many couples go their entire adult lives being committed to one another without the aid of a marriage certificate. It works for them because they are both okay with that and both view relationships the same way. If you and your boyfriend aren’t like this, the issue of marriage is going to cause some friction and conflict.
Obviously by now you’ve brought up the subject of marriage with your guy more than once. His reaction to that is probably more telling than you realize. If he says things like, “we don’t need a certificate to be happy,” or “marriage is over-rated,” he’s not taking the subject seriously. He may feel that marriage really isn’t necessary in a long term committed relationship. If that’s the case you need to explain to him why it is important to you. If you feel you’ve done this already, don’t bring it up again. He knows exactly how you feel on the topic so chasing it around over and over isn’t going to help.
Some well meaning people often suggest that the way a woman should handle a boyfriend who won’t propose is to give him an ultimatum. Something along the lines of giving him a certain time frame to either propose or leave. This is a risky move even in the strongest of relationships. Most men don’t like being pushed back into a corner and they’ll fight back if they are. In this case he’s likely to tell you that he’d rather walk away than be threatened into marrying you.
The one thing that can help if you truly do love him and envision yourself as his wife is to change the relationship slightly. Right now you two are moving down a path that he is leading you on. Even though you’re not content just being his girlfriend, your actions suggest otherwise. You haven’t left and you still see him whenever he wants, perhaps you two are even living in the same home.
Shake things up just a touch by pulling back a bit. Be very subtle about this but make it clear to him, through your actions only, that you’re venturing out on your own a bit. Do this by planning evenings with friends, taking a weekend getaway with family members or signing up for a class without discussing it with him first. The key is really to start making a life of your own that is separate from him. These small gestures will suggest to him that you’re starting to pull away and the fear of losing you may be enough to make him see marriage in a completely different light.
You don’t have to wait for him to decide whether or not he’s ready to commit to you. If you are tired of putting your dreams on hold because he’s commitment phobic, there are things you can do to make him want to marry you now.
Learn right now what you need to do to make him fall to his knees and beg you to marry him by clicking here.