Archive of ‘How to Make Your Man Commit’ category

Can I Convince Him Commitment is His Idea? You Bet You Can!

Many relationships reach a stalemate several months or in some cases, years, after a couple first meets and starts dating. The issue of commitment pops up and what was once a healthy, fun and promising union comes crashing to an abrupt halt. Many women have commitment on their minds because for us it’s the ultimate goal. Nothing feels quite as remarkable as falling in love with a man who you can see as a long term life partner. The problem arises when he’s happily moving through life as a boyfriend and doesn’t view himself as a husband. Even though there are many jokes made about why men are afraid to commit, it’s a real issue that causes strife and sometimes the end of a relationship. Instead of pushing him towards a commitment he may not be ready for, is there a better way? Is it possible to convince him that commitment is his idea? The answer is dependent on several things but if you’re certain you two are perfectly matched, there are several ways you can show him why you are indeed the right woman for him to spend his life with.

Talk to Him Openly About Your Desire to Commit

Before you engage in any game playing with the man you love, be honest and direct about where you want the relationship to head. Naturally, we all dream of that moment when the man we adore drops to one knee and proposes in a wonderfully romantic setting. The problem with that dream is that men can’t read our minds. If he’s not on the path towards marriage, he’s likely going to assume you’re not either. Instead of dropping not-so-subtle hints about why you want to get married, just come right out and tell him that you envision a committed future for the two of you.

If he shies away from the conversation, you can easily read between the lines enough to know that he’s just not ready for anything more serious than what you two share now. Although it’s very disheartening when this happens, it gives you a clear understanding of where he’s at emotionally.

Show Him Why You Two are Perfect Together

In order to convince him that commitment is his idea, you have to show him why there isn’t another woman alive who is more perfectly suited for him. To do that, it’s important that you accept him completely and wholly for who he is. Men are much more sensitive than we typically give them credit for. If you criticize a man over something he says or does that can sit within him and fester. Over time that may be one of the things that contributes to his decision not to rush to commit. In other words, men sometimes are fickle and any resentment they feel can build to a level that will hold them back from wanting to take the relationship to the next level.

Men absolutely adore women who see the value they bring to the relationship. If you thank him for the small things he does and you do things for him that show you value him as a person, he’ll start thinking more about commitment. What really drives a man towards proposing is the need to ensure he has the woman he adores all to himself. If he views you as a compatible partner and he starts thinking about the future, he’s going to want to make it official because at that point, he’ll start to view you as the only woman who can be his wife.

Don’t Become Overly Dependent on Him

When a woman becomes too dependent on her boyfriend, that can stifle his desire to commit. To him, it’s foreshadowing of what’s to come when they get more serious and that can be frightening for a man who isn’t sure how to handle the pressure.

It’s important that you keep your own sense of identity within your relationship. Don’t give up your career if it interferes with your boyfriend’s and don’t agree to give up time with friends if he only can see you certain nights of the week.

When a woman has her own life and her own interests, she becomes that much more appealing to the man in her life. He doesn’t feel responsible for her happiness. He will work harder to prove to her that he belongs in her life and that can manifest itself in the form of a marriage proposal. You must keep in mind that you want your boyfriend to feel as though you’re making room for him to fit into your life instead of feeling as though you’ve cleared your entire life just to be with him. There’s a distinct difference there and it can determine whether you get him to commit or you continue to be his girlfriend indefinitely.

 

How to Get a Man to Commit to a Woman? Tips to Help Your Relationship

Many women all have one burning question that they wish they could get a straight answer to. They love a man, they feel he’s their future life partner but he’s wary when it comes to the issue of commitment. Ideas for getting a man to commit are readily available but the problem is which approach actually works? If you’ve been devoted to your boyfriend for some time and the ultimate question of whether you’ll marry him has never come up, you really do need to address it. Too many women in your position go years expecting a proposal only to discover that they man they love isn’t the marrying kind. Your future is in your own hands and if you want your boyfriend to eventually be your husband you need to start taking steps to ensure that happens.

Don’t Continually Talk About Commitment with Him

One major mistake that many women make when they are yearning for a more committed relationship is they talk about it with the man of their dreams at every opportunity. Obviously if you love a man you want him to see his future with you. However, if you push a man to commit on an almost daily basis it’s likely going to result in him pulling back out of sheer frustration.

If you’ve been guilty of this type of behavior, it’s important that you make a marked effort to change. The best advice you can follow is to stop talking about commitment altogether for a time. Even though you may struggle with this and you may worry that he’ll assume you’re not interested in getting married, you have to make a strong effort to give up the conversations in which you push him towards committing.

It won’t take your man long to realize that you’ve stopped focusing on commitment and that will help your effort in two ways. First and foremost, it will ensure that he’ll relax. He’s no longer going to feel that he has to be on guard about the commitment and about coming up with reasons for why he’s not ready. Secondly, he’ll begin to wonder if you’ve decided that committing to him isn’t what you want anymore. In a man’s mind that may translate to you wanting to explore other avenues for your future. That alone may be enough to push him into proposing out of fear of losing you.

Stop Trying to Prove that You’re His Perfect Future Wife

As women we often go overboard when it comes to pleasing the man we love. We believe that by doing everything and anything we can for him that he’ll instantly want to spend his life with us. Unfortunately, men don’t really make the same connections that we do. Your man isn’t going to drop to one knee and demand you be his wife if you cook him delicious meals each night, pick up his dry cleaning and do his laundry. In fact, without even realizing it he may become dependent on the tasks you do without becoming emotionally dependent on you.

Men aren’t that interested in women who cater to them. Naturally, like all individuals, men enjoy when the woman they are dating wants to take care of them. There’s a fine line between being kind and doing too much. If you feel that you contribute much more to the relationship than your boyfriend does, that’s an unbalanced dynamic that may hinder your dream of becoming his wife.

Try and control how much you do for him on a daily basis. Don’t lose sight of the fact that this man isn’t making any real effort to ensure you become his life partner. That means that he still views himself as single and that translates into him having to shoulder the burdens that come with that. In other words, if he’s going to continue to see himself as a man who doesn’t want a commitment, then he should be taking care of his own needs including cooking for himself, tidying his place and making his own dinner. Those things aren’t your responsibility as his girlfriend. Save those generous offerings for when you become his wife.

Explore Your Life on Your Own

Too many women make the tragic mistake of putting their life goals on hold while they patiently wait for their boyfriend to commit. If you want to further your education so you can get a better job, do that now. Don’t worry that your man will see your education pursuit as a financial burden. You must be focused on what is best for you, not necessarily what is best for the two of you as a couple.

If you two aren’t living together at this point, don’t push the idea again. Instead, paint your apartment a new color or purchase some new furniture. This will silently suggest to your boyfriend that you’re planning for the future in your own place and that sends him a very clear message that you’re not seeing him as a potential roommate in the near future. Small acts such as though will impact your boyfriend more than you know. They just may jolt him into realizing that unless he takes some steps towards commitment, you may decide that the single life is really what you need.

He Keeps Putting Off Getting Married! Why This is a Red Flag

You and your guy have been in a relationship for some time now. Things are good, right? You get along, you have many of the same likes and dislikes and you both adore the other. It seems perfect on the surface, but you know that nothing is ideal. In your case, there’s a big red flag waving directly over your boyfriend’s head. The man keeps putting off getting married and you’re now beginning to wonder whether it’s ever really going to happen. You’re right to be concerned. In fact, you should be deeply concerned if he’s constantly changing the subject when you bring up marriage. A man like this may very well be commitment phobic. Unless you take steps now to remedy this, you may be still waiting for that marriage proposal five or ten years from now.

What it Means When a Man Won’t Marry a Woman

Your boyfriend may tell you on a daily basis that he absolutely adores and worships you. You love hearing that. What woman wouldn’t want to hear such loving words coming from the man she loves? The problem is that love and marriage don’t always go hand-in-hand within a man’s mind. He may love you in this moment but he may not see you clearly as wife material. Although he may be holding back on getting married because he’s genuinely concerned about his finances, or he watched his parents battle through a bitter divorce, the reason may be more simple than that.

You can generally tell if a man is commitment phobic because he will hold the view that anything beyond dating isn’t for him. He’ll fight tooth and nail against living together and he won’t want you to refer to him as anything other than your “boyfriend.”

A man who isn’t sure if you’re the right woman for him will handle things a little differently. He may want to take the relationship to the next level by moving in together and even meeting each others’ families. Where he’ll put up a wall will be when the discussion takes a turn towards marriage. He may say he’s all for getting married, but he’s too young or you two haven’t been together long enough. If your guy seems to hold this attitude, he may be ready for marriage, but may not see you as his ideal partner.

Your Options if He Keeps Hesitating About Marriage

Obviously you love your man so the idea of leaving him because he won’t marry you may not be an option. It’s important to try and come to a determination about why he’s holding back on marriage before you invest yourself further in an emotional sense into the relationship.

You don’t want to be the woman who sticks by the man she loves only to be dumped a year or two from now. Many women experience this and then end up heartbroken when their former love gets married to someone else just months after the break up.

You need to make it clear to your man that marriage is an integral part of your future. By expressing that to him in a calm and rational way you’re showing him that you’re serious about your own needs and that you’re not going to compromise on them.

Giving a man a time frame in which you expect a proposal probably will only result in you being hurt. He’ll feel trapped or cornered and will inevitably push back which may result in your relationship fall apart under the pressure.

Just reiterate to him from time-to-time that you love him and that you know that you two will have a wonderfully satisfying future together. Let him see that although you do want the wedding ring, you’re not sacrificing your connection with him for that. If he truly loves you, he’ll want you to be happy and he’ll start to see that you’re willing to compromise and support him in your quest to get your needs satisfied. This will help him see you as an equal and loving partner which is exactly what every individual wants as they set forth on the path towards their own personal happily-ever-after.

Learn how you can convince the man you love to want a committed and devoted future with you.

Can I Convince Him to Marry Me? Advice for Women Ready to Get Engaged

There’s one thing in your life that you wish for on a daily basis but at this moment it feels like a distant dream. You want to get married and the man you plan on marrying doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you. Your boyfriend is more than content just being your boyfriend even though you feel it’s time to take things to the next level and begin your journey as man and wife. Maybe you’ve tried some not-so-subtle hints to move him in the direction of a wedding. Leaving wedding magazines in full view or describing in pointed detail the exact engagement ring you want may seem like great ways to get him to pop the ultimate question. Unfortunately, those things aren’t going to get you anything but a pressured boyfriend. If you’re wondering whether or not you can actually convince him to marry you, the answer actually depends on a whole range of variables. 

 

Think About His Reaction When You Talk About Marriage

How does your boyfriend react when you begin a discussion that focuses on the issue of marriage? Does he seem excited? Does he actively participate in the conversation or does he immediately change the subject? You can tell a lot about where a man’s mind is in relation to the idea of a serious commitment by how he handles an unexpected conversation about it. If he’s open to discussing the idea of marriage, he’s definitely on the same page as you. In this case it’s important that you don’t make it a daily part of your conversation, but instead bring it up occasionally and focus on things like the size of wedding he envisions and when he hopes it will take place. If you integrate it into your conversations without making it the sole focus, he’s going to view it as something you both are thinking about and that will help him feel more comfortable about picking a date and choosing an engagement ring in the near future.

In the case of a man who abruptly changes the subject when you start talking about marriage, that’s an entirely different issue to deal with.  He has no interest in even discussing a more serious commitment, so you’d be hard pressed to get him to want to marry you at this stage.

Evaluate His Reasons for Hesitating to Make a Commitment

Any man who shies away from marriage has at least one solid reason for doing so. For some men it’s because they don’t feel as though they have their finances in place. For other men they are terrified that they may be choosing the wrong partner and they’ll eventually have to face a bitter divorce. Typically this is felt by a man who witnessed a brutal divorce in his own household when he was a child. You must determine what is causing him to pull back when you talk about commitment.

Many men will avoid discussing what is causing their trepidation and will instead blame it on timing. They’ll say that they’re too young for marriage or they’re not ready to make such a serious commitment. If you two have been dating for some time, you have to judge whether waiting even longer is going to fit within your own timeline of what you hope to accomplish in your life.

Decide Where Your Own Future Path Needs to Take You

If you feel that your boyfriend is committed to you and will eventually marry you, you need to establish when that might happen. Have a frank and open discussion with him about that. Explain, in a very direct way, when you hope to have a commitment and why you feel it’s necessary for it to happen by then. Many women live with the mistaken impression that all men don’t enjoy discussing relationships and where they are heading. The truth is that many men are open to that as long as the woman is direct and honest about what she wants. In this case, you can explain to your man that you envision the two of you building your life together within a certain time frame. Listen to his thoughts on it and then find a compromise that works for you both if you don’t see it completely eye-to-eye.

Dealing with a man who has little to no interest in marriage is a completely different story. In this case, you’re not likely going to succeed if you try to convince him to marry you and honestly, do you really want to be with a man who needs convincing that you’re the right woman for him?

You need to think about what is best for you emotionally and that might mean you have to take a break from him, and the stagnant relationship, for a time. Explain to him that you just need time to think about what you want out of life. Taking a step back will not only give you the room you need to assess whether holding out hope he will commit is best for you. In addition, time apart may help your boyfriend to really see that he does need you as essential part of his life. It may just be enough to get him to drop down to one knee and ask you to be his wife.

Regardless of the outcome of a short-term break it’s important for you to stand strong with what you want out of your life. If that’s a man who wants to be your husband, that’s what you need to be searching for. Never sell yourself short when it comes to love and commitment. You deserve everything you wish and hope for your own future.

There is a method any woman can use to get her boyfriend to want to willingly and happily commit to her. It’s all about understanding him at his emotional core. You can get the commitment you want with the man you truly desire and love.

Can I Get Him to Be More Serious About Me? Tips to Help Make it Happen

Relationships are unique beasts. They generally take on a life of their own and they progress at a pace that hopefully syncs up with what both the woman and the man involved want. Sometimes, the couple is walking down two separate paths and one is headed towards something more serious while the other seems content on just casually dating. More often than not it’s the woman who wants to secure a commitment with her guy. As women we understand that, given the fact that we recognize how rare it is to find a man who fulfills us in every way. Short of giving your guy an ultimatum, is there any other way to get him to be more serious about you? You may think that there’s not, but there are actually a number of very simple, yet incredibly effective, steps you can take to show him why you are the woman he should be devoting his heart and his life to.

Make the Relationship Fun and as Drama Free as Possible

You wouldn’t be at all surprised if I said that women tend to be more dramatic than men when it comes to relationships, would you? We all know it’s true. As women, we often seem to stumble on issues waiting to be addressed. We bring them up with the man we adore and before we know it they’ve taken on a life of their own and an argument ensues. To men there really is no rhyme or reason to this. All they want to do is have a relationship that is emotionally fulfilling, fun and easy. Men don’t want to be in a relationship that is hard work. It doesn’t appeal to them at all.

That’s why it’s essential that you keep the drama, within your relationship, to a minimum. There are a lot of advantages that come with overlooking the small things. I know it can be troubling to be with a man who sometimes glances the way of a passing pretty girl and it can be disheartening if he doesn’t always remember your birthday or other important events. You need to evaluate how important those things are to you versus how fulfilling it is when the relationship is in a good, peaceful and loving place. As hard as it is, overlooking small, inconsequential things, can help draw a man closer to you because he’ll view you as someone who doesn’t take life too seriously.

Don’t Go On and On About the Future

It’s incredibly hard not to focus on where you want the relationship to go when you feel it’s the “ideal” connection for you. As a woman, you likely enjoy planning things and your future definitely falls into that category. If you bring up taking the relationship to the next level before your guy is ready to hear it, an invisible, emotional barrier is going to be thrown up and he’s going to fight you on moving things to a more serious place. A man who isn’t sure he wants to commit can become very protective of his space and time.

If you act as though you don’t care either way whether the relationship ends up in a more committed place, he’ll find you incredibly enchanting and intriguing. Men are accustomed to dealing with women who are chasing after the dream of a wedding and a happily-ever-after committed future. They know that sooner or later, if you two are hitting it off, the inevitable conversation about how many kids they want or what style of home they want to live in is on the not-too-distant horizon. Surprise him by staying mum on anything to do with commitment. If you can do that he’s going to wonder, sooner rather than later, why you aren’t eager to get him to take the relationship to a more serious place.

Do Not Lose Focus on Your Own Goals

One major mistake that women make when they’re trying to build a strong and lasting connection with a man is they start to sacrifice their own life in favor of his. If you start giving up your own interests, your own career goals or your friends for a man he’ll find you that much less interesting. He doesn’t want you to give up your life for him. Firstly, it shows that you don’t value yourself as an important, worthwhile and successful human being. You’re willing to trade-in what you want for a man. Any man who finds that fetching isn’t worth being in a relationship with because he’ll take your behavior as a sign that you want to be controlled.

Also, if you start giving up the things you enjoy so that you have more time with your guy it makes him feel as though he has to fill in all that empty space. In other words, if you repeatedly cancel plans with friends or rearrange your work schedule to accommodate him, he’s going to feel responsible for your time and happiness. That’s a heavy burden for any man in a growing relationship to carry. You don’t want that to happen.

Show your man that you’re not willing to sacrifice the woman you are for him. It’s important that he understands that he has to fit within the life you already have. If he feels, even for a moment, that you are becoming dependent on him for your happiness or that he has to be there to fill in your time, he’ll start to feel pressure or resentment and eventually the relationship will likely fail.

There is a proven way to get even the most resistant man to commit. You can get him to want to marry you and spend the rest of his life devoted only to you.

 

Getting Him to Open Up – How to Get Through to an Emotionally Unavailable Man

Men and women are undeniably different in a variety of ways. We learn that very early in life when we face conflict with the boys we date in middle and high schools. Men, of all ages, tend to keep their feelings very close to the vest. They aren’t as quick to divulge what they’re feeling and they often will work hard to try to work through any conflict that they feel on their own. To men, this may be viewed as a manly way to handle emotions but to women it’s not. It inevitably results in men that are emotionally unavailable and distant. Trying to meander through a relationship with a man like this is never an easy task. You become flustered and frustrated very easily when you’re trying to determine exactly what your man feels for you and what’s going through his mind. Relationships don’t have to be this complicated. You can get him to open up to you in a way that makes him feel safe and nurtured. Imagine having a connection with the man you adore that is honest, open and mutually satisfying? It’s definitely within your grasp if you understand the key steps you need to take to help awaken his inner core and get him to share it with you.

Understand That Your Man Needs Certain Things to Feel Emotionally Safe

Men, in general, don’t enjoy feeling vulnerable. They will do almost anything it takes to avoid that feeling. That’s why when a woman confronts a man about his deepest feelings and desires, he’ll often retreat. He’ll say things about not wanting to talk about it, or he loves you and what else is there to talk about. If you push a man to talk in a way that makes him feel stripped or cornered, he’ll shut down. He needs to feel emotionally safe before he can bare his innermost feelings.

You can create a closer bond which in turn will make him more willing to open up. Be clear with him that he is the man for you. If you’re the type of woman who plays games with a man in an effort to get him to fall deeper in love or to get him to proclaim his undying love, you’re never truly going to get him to share with you. You have to be painfully honest with him about your feelings. Don’t go on and on about how deeply you love him. Simply state in a very clear, concise and honest way that he’s the man you care for and there’s no competition for your adoration in your life. In other words, you’re not interested in other men. It’s just him in your eyes.

Also, it’s incredibly important that you make certain that your man feels completely and unequivocally accepted by you for the person he is. If you’re constantly trying to change something about him, he’s not going to be as willing to share anything personal in an emotional sense with you. He’ll feel judged on a continual basis and that’s not a recipe for a happy, healthy and loving bond.

Don’t Rush Him Into Opening Up Emotionally

One of the crucial mistakes that many women make in their quest to bond emotionally with their man is they push him to share what he’s feeling too soon. Men like to do things on their own timetables and that’s especially true in a relationship sense.

If you repeatedly tell him that you believe you two need to talk about your feelings and he doesn’t open up during any of these conversations, that’s a good indicator that now is not the time to continue to push. Let it go for awhile. Focus on the fun that you two have and not on where the relationship is headed.

A man is much morewilling to open himself up emotionally if he doesn’t feel threatened or coerced into it. Many women who have been in the same position as you will tell you that when they stopped asking their man what he was feeling, he started sharing.

He wants to believe the idea of being more transparent is coming from within him, so allow that to happen. Take each day as it comes and give him the emotional room he needs to feel safe and secure in the relationship with you. Once that happens, and he feels confident in your unwavering devotion to him, he’ll feel much better about showing all his emotional cards to you.

Don’t Push for More Than He’s Giving

Once your man does take a step towards sharing more of his innermost feelings, be as accepting as you possibly can. It’s not uncommon for a woman to want to rush the relationship into the next phase. If you do this, you’re going to risk him pulling back or worse yet, taking off for good.

Although you may feel that the relationship is at a point where you want to say to your man that you’re ready to settle down and start a life together, he may just be inching towards telling you that he loves you more than he’s ever loved any woman. Once he does share that, cherish it. Don’t push him to devote himself to you for the rest of his life. Accept and embrace what he can give, when he can give it. If you do that, he’ll feel a drive to get closer and closer to you.

There is a way to get any man to open up and want to share everything he’s feeling with you. You can have the close, emotionally bonded relationship you’ve always dreamed of with the man you utterly adore.

No Commitment, No Sex – What to Do If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Marry You

You’re stuck. You couldn’t have ever imagined this would be you. You and your boyfriend have been dating for longer than you care to admit. You waited patiently for months for him to pop the all important question and present you with a breathtaking diamond engagement ring, but the wait isn’t over yet, is it? He seems no closer to proposing today than he was on your first date. It’s frustrating. It’s disheartening and it’s confusing. If he loves you as much as he constantly claims he does why the resistance? Beyond that, what should you be doing? You’ve been toying with the idea of giving him an ultimatum. You’re thinking that since he’s withholding the one thing you really want which is a committed future, you should play that game too and withhold the one thing he really wants. But is cutting off intimate contact really the way to get the wedding of your dreams?

Why an Ultimatum Won’t Get You What You Want From Him

The moment a woman threatens her man with an ultimatum that is designed to get her a commitment, she can say goodbye to the dream of being his wife forever. Most men don’t do well when they are cornered emotionally, particularly in relation to something as life changing as an engagement. If you tell your boyfriend that you aren’t going to sleep with him until he becomes your fiancée, you may as well begin packing his things so you can ship him out of your life.

Men do things on their own schedule. It’s the reason it takes a man three hours to take the trash out or six months to get a room painted. When they feel it’s the right time to do something they will gladly do it. Hence the reason you haven’t been sporting an impressive diamond ring on your finger yet. Your boyfriend isn’t ready to ask you to be his wife, and removing sex from the equation certainly isn’t going to speed him along.

What Happens When You Stop Having Sex with Him

If you follow through with your threat to not have sex with him until he proposes, he will deeply resent you. The same is true if you decide to go the more subtle approach and just stop sleeping with him in the hope that he’ll suddenly wise up and realize that he’s going to lose the closeness that you two share unless he decides it’s time to become your better half.

Intimacy is a very important part of a relationship, particularly a relationship that you hope will result in a lifelong commitment. If you remove physical intimacy from the equation you can expect emotional intimacy to collapse as well.

Your boyfriend will likely absorb your refusal to sleep with him (be it an all out “no” or a more simplistic approach such as “I have a headache”) as a personal affront. He’ll be desperately hurt and it will create an emotional barrier between the two of you that will be very difficult for you to overcome.

Talk to Your Boyfriend About What You’re Feeling

If you are indeed feeling less connected to him because you’re hurt by the fact that he doesn’t want to get married, tell him that. Explain that to you, physical and emotional intimacy are interwoven and since you feel rejected in a sense by his refusal to marry you, you’re finding it harder to feel closer to him physically.

It’s important to realize that men tend to see physical intimacy in a very different way than we do. They can separate the emotions from it and are more able to just enjoy sex for what it is physically.

If you calmly and compassionately explain that you’re looking forward to living your life with him and that you feel uncomfortable continuing with intimacy without some sort of promise, expect him to be taken back. It’s important that you don’t tell him that you won’t sleep with him until you’re engaged. Be clear that you want to be intimate but it would hold more meaning if you two were on the path towards a more committed relationship.

Let him know that your needs and desires are just as important to you as his are to him and that you hope, in time, he’ll see the future through the same eyes as you do.

Once a woman understands how to overcome her boyfriend’s resistance to commitment she can change the relationship forever. You can have the proposal, wedding and fulfilling marriage you desire if you understand exactly how to make it happen.

Relationship Anxiety – Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Want to Marry Me?

Relationships aren’t always viewed as investments, but in many ways that’s exactly what they are. This is especially the case for a woman who is dating a man who is somewhat resistant to the idea of marriage. If you’re that woman, you know that you’ve invested a great deal of time and emotional energy into the connection. It’s understandable that you’d want and expect a diamond ring and a romantic wedding at some point, but what do you do if that end goal is nowhere in sight? If your boyfriend has made it clear to you that he’s not interested in marriage, you’re left flabbergasted. Before you throw in the towel and walk away from everything you two have built, you need some answers. Understanding why he isn’t feeling drawn towards marriage can help you overcome the problem and get things moving in a more positive relationship direction.

 

Think About His Reasons for Not Wanting to Marry

Obviously, by this point you and your boyfriend have discussed the issue of marriage and how you both feel about it. In all likelihood you’ve pushed your boyfriend to share with you where his reservations are coming from. Each man is unique which means that his reasoning for not wanting to take the plunge is going to be specific to him. Generally there are several common threads that seem to run through relationships in which the man isn’t in any rush to get married.

One of the most common reasons why men refuse to make such a strong commitment is they sense that they’ll lose their own identity when they become a “husband.” Instead of being a self sufficient, single guy they suddenly become one half of a couple who are joined together forever. To most women this sounds like a dream come true but for a man who doesn’t feel emotionally mature, this can be a very frightening proposition. Not only does he see his own identity being pulled away but he senses that his role, from the wedding day forward, is simply to please his wife.

Other men won’t get down on bended knee to make that all-important proposal because the financial aspect of it weighs heavily on their mind. Men want to be viewed as providers and if your man doesn’t have the means to support himself, let alone you and any potential children in the future, he isn’t going to want to take any steps towards commitment. He also likely won’t reveal his true motivations for not getting engaged. He doesn’t want you to think poorly of him. To a man the most important thing is that the woman he loves sees him as a hero in every sense.

Devote Your Energy to Helping Him Overcome His Resistance

There’s something to be said for not pushing a man to commit, but there are obvious exceptions every woman should be aware of. If you believe your boyfriend would love to be married, but he does have some lingering reservations that you’ve been able to identify, you can then start work on helping him move past those.

It’s not advisable for you to sit down with a man who you believe is struggling with finances so you two can have an honest discussion about how he can’t afford a wedding, let alone an engagement ring. It is helpful if you share with him how you see marriage as an equal partnership and how important it is to you to contribute equally, always. If your boyfriend feels that some of the financial burden has been taken off his shoulders, in a very subtle way by you, that may steer him closer towards a proposal.

You can also persuade your man to see the gains he’ll make in being married to you, as opposed to the losses he may believe he’ll suffer. If your guy is surrounded by single male friends, this may prove a bit more challenging, but don’t ever view it as impossible.

Simply start mentioning how important you believe it is that couples always have their own interests. You could even bring up the example of a married friend of yours. Talk about how you think it’s great that her and her husband still have their own independent friends and that they each spend time apart from one another visiting with those friends.

If your boyfriend senses that your attitude after you marry is going to be that of a woman who doesn’t want her husband spending all his time with her, he’ll be more inclined to see marriage in a much more positive light.

Be Realistic About the Future of Your Relationship

Even if you’ve determined why you believe your boyfriend is being hesitant about committing, and you’ve been working at getting him to move past his reservations, there is still a chance that he’ll refuse to marry you.

If this is the case, it’s important that you look within yourself to decide if waiting endlessly is the right thing for you. Some people just don’t see marriage as something they want in their lives. If this depth of connection is important to you and your boyfriend has continued to resist, even after you’ve helped him understand the benefits of it, it may be time to rethink your future.

You, and only you, can decide if marriage is a deal breaker within your relationship. If it’s vitally important to you that you two marry, share that with him and leave the ball in his court. If he continues to ignore your needs, you really have to consider whether a partner like that is truly the best choice after all.

Any woman who is struggling to get her boyfriend to commit to her, has help available to her. There is a shocking way to subtly persuade the man you love to want to marry you.

Getting a Man to Propose When He’s Resistant

You’re running out of ideas, aren’t you? You’ve tried the direct approach, maybe you’ve enlisted the help of a friend, or perhaps you even wrote about a bridal fair on the calendar hoping it would catch your boyfriend’s attention. Up to this point nothing has worked. There’s been no romantic proposal, you’re not sporting a beautiful diamond ring and there isn’t a wedding planner in your immediate future. You’re disappointed and you have every right to be. You love this man and you’ve long envisioned the two of you carving out your own little spot in the niche of happily married couples. Your hope is beginning to dwindle but before you completely give up on the idea of getting engaged, there are a few subtle things you can do to convince your guy to pop that all important question that will set your happily-ever-after future in motion.

Don’t Push Him, Subtly Pull Him Towards a Stronger Commitment

Anytime a woman pushes a man towards a commitment, before he feels he’s ready, he’ll push back harder than she ever imagined. You may have noticed this with your guy already. If you’ve asked him point blank if he ever plans on proposing to you, you may have been greeted with a not-too-kind answer that goes something like, “not if you keep pushing me,” or “I want to be the one to ask so be more patient.” Obviously, patience is a virtue but when you’re a woman who has been waiting for what seems like an eternity already, it’s hard to continue doing that endlessly.

You’ll fare much better if you pull him towards wanting to commit. You can begin to do this by letting go of the notion that you have to ask for what you want from the man you adore. By asking, you’re putting him in the driver’s seat and he’ll take the relationship in whatever direction he chooses.

If you suddenly seem indifferent towards the idea of getting married, your man is going to jump to one conclusion. He’s going to assume that your sudden disinterest in getting engaged has to do with your dwindling interest in him.

Men pay much closer attention to what we talk about than we realize. If you stop talking commitment, he’ll start thinking about it.

Talk About Your Solo Dreams and Hopes for the Future

We all have dreams of our own that our separate from our primary relationships. One effective way to push a man into thinking seriously about a commitment is to share yours with him. You must do this in a way that is subtle, yet strong. In other words, you must appear as though you’re just sharing with your man without the intention of threatening him or pressuring him into proposing.

If you’ve always wanted to visit another country, now is the time to mention it. You can even begin saving for it and you can use that as the catalyst that begins a conversation about it. Tell your boyfriend that you’re going to forgo shopping for a few weeks so you can save money towards your future trip. Don’t make the mistake of allowing him to believe he’s invited on this journey. Use phrases like, “my trip,” and “I can’t wait to go.” If he sees how excited you are about doing something so monumental on your own, that will certainly impact him emotionally.

It may just be enough to convince him that any adventure you are planning on going on solo should be instead a honeymoon.

Although it’s very hard to wait for a proposal from the man you adore, it’s incredibly important that you don’t make that the focus of your relationship. By using subtle approaches to try and get him to propose you’ll be maintaining the strength of your connection, while at the same time, pursuing your ultimate goal which is to be his wife and life partner.

There is actually an innovative and very effective approach any woman can take if she wants to get her man to commit. You can learn more about that here.

He Doesn’t Know if He Wants to Marry Me! What This Means for Your Future

When you’re a woman who has dreamt for years of a romantic proposal and a beautiful white wedding dress, you’re bound to be disappointed when your intended groom has cold feet. One of the most disheartening things any woman can say about the man she loves is, “he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me.” It stings, it frustrates and it makes you second guess the entire relationship. How can he possibly say he utterly adores you and can’t imagine his life without you yet he won’t take any step towards marriage? If your guy seems completely stuck in boyfriend mode and he says he’s unsure about marriage, you really need to address why that is. If you ignore this, with the hope that one day he’ll “come to his senses” and propose, you may find yourself waiting impatiently five or even ten years from now.

Before you do anything else, ask your man who he doesn’t want to marry you. You must be prepared for any potential answer though. Typically a commitment phobic man will resort to saying that he is scared of the idea of marriage because his parents divorced or he doesn’t feel financially stable yet. Those are valid reasons for any man to be hesitant about a serious step towards commitment. If he confides in you why he doesn’t feel ready yet, you can then work together towards finding a suitable compromise. Maybe you need to talk more about what caused his parents’ divorce so you are both aware of any potential triggers that may make him withdraw after the wedding. Or it may be more of a matter of talking frankly and openly about your mutual finances and how you can both invest in a future wedding.

Dealing with a Man Who Isn’t Sure You’re the Right Life Partner for Him

If your boyfriend stumbles when it comes to answering questions about why he doesn’t want to get married, you should be concerned. Sadly, the reason some men don’t want to get married is because they don’t feel that their current girlfriend is their ideal partner. You’ll be hard pressed to get your boyfriend to admit that this is the drive behind his desire to stay dating instead of committed, but you can read between the lines to gather the information you need.

Consider how he views marriage in general. If he seems happy when a friend gets engaged and he’s talking often about how he hopes to be married one day, you need to pay attention to whether your name is ever mentioned as part of that plan. Some men will date one woman until they decide it’s time to look for a life partner. That’s when the break up occurs and just a few months later the man in question is suddenly marrying someone he just met. Most of us know of a couple just like that and typically it’s because either the man or the woman just didn’t see their partner as marriage material so they went looking for someone who was.

Giving your man an ultimatum about marriage can actually backfire in your face. If you tell him that it’s marriage or the relationship is over, don’t be shocked if he says goodbye. You’re much better off talking to him rationally about how he envisions the future and whether or not he anticipates ever changing his mind about wanting to marry you. If he’s certain that he wants to remain your boyfriend and not your husband for the next several years, you then have an important decision to make. Remember your future happiness is in your own hands, so take all the knowledge you have of your man, weigh it against what you truly want in your life and go from there.

You can subtly persuade your man to marry you with the right insight and approach. There is a way to get him to want to commit even if he’s been commitment phobic to this point.

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