Posts Tagged ‘convince him to commit’

Can I Convince Him Commitment is His Idea? You Bet You Can!

Many relationships reach a stalemate several months or in some cases, years, after a couple first meets and starts dating. The issue of commitment pops up and what was once a healthy, fun and promising union comes crashing to an abrupt halt. Many women have commitment on their minds because for us it’s the ultimate goal. Nothing feels quite as remarkable as falling in love with a man who you can see as a long term life partner. The problem arises when he’s happily moving through life as a boyfriend and doesn’t view himself as a husband. Even though there are many jokes made about why men are afraid to commit, it’s a real issue that causes strife and sometimes the end of a relationship. Instead of pushing him towards a commitment he may not be ready for, is there a better way? Is it possible to convince him that commitment is his idea? The answer is dependent on several things but if you’re certain you two are perfectly matched, there are several ways you can show him why you are indeed the right woman for him to spend his life with.

Talk to Him Openly About Your Desire to Commit

Before you engage in any game playing with the man you love, be honest and direct about where you want the relationship to head. Naturally, we all dream of that moment when the man we adore drops to one knee and proposes in a wonderfully romantic setting. The problem with that dream is that men can’t read our minds. If he’s not on the path towards marriage, he’s likely going to assume you’re not either. Instead of dropping not-so-subtle hints about why you want to get married, just come right out and tell him that you envision a committed future for the two of you.

If he shies away from the conversation, you can easily read between the lines enough to know that he’s just not ready for anything more serious than what you two share now. Although it’s very disheartening when this happens, it gives you a clear understanding of where he’s at emotionally.

Show Him Why You Two are Perfect Together

In order to convince him that commitment is his idea, you have to show him why there isn’t another woman alive who is more perfectly suited for him. To do that, it’s important that you accept him completely and wholly for who he is. Men are much more sensitive than we typically give them credit for. If you criticize a man over something he says or does that can sit within him and fester. Over time that may be one of the things that contributes to his decision not to rush to commit. In other words, men sometimes are fickle and any resentment they feel can build to a level that will hold them back from wanting to take the relationship to the next level.

Men absolutely adore women who see the value they bring to the relationship. If you thank him for the small things he does and you do things for him that show you value him as a person, he’ll start thinking more about commitment. What really drives a man towards proposing is the need to ensure he has the woman he adores all to himself. If he views you as a compatible partner and he starts thinking about the future, he’s going to want to make it official because at that point, he’ll start to view you as the only woman who can be his wife.

Don’t Become Overly Dependent on Him

When a woman becomes too dependent on her boyfriend, that can stifle his desire to commit. To him, it’s foreshadowing of what’s to come when they get more serious and that can be frightening for a man who isn’t sure how to handle the pressure.

It’s important that you keep your own sense of identity within your relationship. Don’t give up your career if it interferes with your boyfriend’s and don’t agree to give up time with friends if he only can see you certain nights of the week.

When a woman has her own life and her own interests, she becomes that much more appealing to the man in her life. He doesn’t feel responsible for her happiness. He will work harder to prove to her that he belongs in her life and that can manifest itself in the form of a marriage proposal. You must keep in mind that you want your boyfriend to feel as though you’re making room for him to fit into your life instead of feeling as though you’ve cleared your entire life just to be with him. There’s a distinct difference there and it can determine whether you get him to commit or you continue to be his girlfriend indefinitely.